Where's the low stress lifestyle?

It's official, I'm queen of stress and that has to change...like today Claudi is supposed to come over to practise her English and it was supposed to be this afternoon but when she called I still hadn't had lunch and I wanted to finish reading for my Kleist course this afternoon...now I should call her when I get home from class but then it's dinner time and if she comes over that means I may have to feed her...bah....no time feels convenient and I feel so bad that I feel so stingy and that it would cause me extra angst to have someone over. I just want to go back to bed and not have to address my homework and stuff--but that's totally a bad attitude to have. I'm totally losing my joy in sharing with other people and being generous...I just am turning into a really self-focussed person and that's concerning--but then it could be because I just have some issues that I need to work out before I can be sociable and a "people" person again...it's hard to love other people when you can't love yourself, or whatever the saying is. Meh. So pretty much I'm on the search for the low stress lifestyle...and I need to find a way to not worry so much about everything and just trust God that He's got everything under control, even when it feels like everything is falling apart--or better put, when I'm falling apart lol. Okay, so I'm weird but that's who I am...an interesting patient for psychologist that's for sure ;-p Time to get back to work now that that bit of negative thinking is out of my head...yay for babbling. Schoenen Tag wuensche ich euch und liebe gruesse aus Deutschland :-)

I survived both of my referats, the first on Walter Benjamin felt better than the one yesterday. Yesterday I got in front of the class and felt really nervous at first and very tense--when someone laughed at something, I snapped at him and was like "why are you laughing at me?" when he wasn't laughing at me at all. And then it went okay but it just didn't feel like everything always flowed together in terms of intro to what I said, to what Nina said...it felt a little bit unorganised when it really was supposed to be organised (that's what I had hoped for)...plus some of what Nina said was not always that clear as to what her point was. But it's now done, I guess and I should just let it all go. Going with someone can help in that you don't have to stand alone and maybe do a little less work but if you go by yourself than you have more "control" over the situation and what happens. Yes, so I think I have control issues maybe? Ah well, I will probably go and talk to the professor in her sprechstunde next week about the refererats in terms of what she really thought of them and also discuss my essays--I would like to write out some sort of outline for both essays to show her, if I can do that this weekend.
This weekend I get to work on my semester arbeit for Herr Zaenker's class...I got out a couple books from the library and hopefully I can have my rough draft ready for editing/proof reading for Monday. I also received the last part of Alex's studienarbeit today and so that's something else homework-wise to do this weekend.
This afternoon Angelina is having her birthday party and she will be making waffles (!)--I'm super excited because I love waffles and I'm sure it will be a good time for me to practise my German too. I'm going to make her a card this morning. Tomorrow evening Tobias, the leader of the boy's bible study has invited all the Hauskreis' to his house for a group event so that everyone could get to know each other. If I can get some stuff done tomorrow during the day, then I would like to come and see who else is in the other Hauskreis'.
So I'm going to the Olympics and to the aerial finals...we are still looking for a place to stay but as a back-up another CYF girl, Sara, already has a room and we could stay with her if that's what it came down to. If nothing else, we can leave our bags with her so that we don't have to throw everything out (like all the food that I like to bring for long trips ;-p) But Susanne was telling me yesterday not to stress out, that it will be fun--I think she is right, I shouldn't be so tense about the whole thing, but trust that it will all work out and that God is looking out for me in all situations. I don't know if I will go to Spain then in the semester ferien, depending on the costs of my olympic adventure, but we'll see. I would rather go to Taize I think and see Zicka and Alex though Spain will always remain a desirable location.
Did you know today is Mozart's birthday? Yeah, I know it's a very random piece of information but I'm listening to Deutschlandradiokultur and they're talking a lot about him. It would be very cool to see the Zauberfloete...but we'll see.
On a side note, my waffles were very tasty...I had to cook them like pancakes given that I have no waffle iron but maple syrup does wonders for everything ;-P And what's my cooking project for today? Scalloped potatoes actually because I have potatoes that are sprouting...it must be a sign that they want to be cooked. Yay for peeling potatoes--it has to be one of the most *exciting* activities in the world ;-)
Once again, my dishes are calling me. Schoenen Tag wuensche ich euch von ganzen Herz! Liebe Gruesse.

The mountains are growing...

I thought that I should "update" before my homework pile gets so overwhelmingly huge that I can no longer ignore it and hence, would have little time for blogging *excitement*. So feel special lol. I'm not feeling terribly inspired to do homework right now anyways...tonight I also have bible study and I'm bringing the sugar cookies that I made this weekend. Now they were an *interesting* experiment because I got the recipe from the internet and I didn't have quite enough butter or maybe I added too much flour--who knows really? To make a long story short, I had to do some warming and re-forming but the still taste good if you ask me ;-p I started looking at tickets for the olympic games last night on the internet. There are still tickets for some hockey games, like Canada vs. Czech Republic in men's hockey...the ticket prices seem pretty reasonable, I just have no idea how much the train ride there would cost and food, etc. I think I could avoid staying overnight because that for sure would be ridiculously pricey but I'm not sure that I should go a)to save my money for another trip to somewhere else and b) going alone might not be that smart. The Olympics, however, are quite *exciting*. Bah, I don't know what I should do...and life goes on lol. I'm going to make waffles this week because I have been craving them for a while. I still don't have a waffle iron and so I will just cook the batter like for pancakes...should be *interesting* if nothing else. I seem to be learning how to fix my baking/cooking when things go funny, so it would only continue my learning curve ;-p Ah dear, now my dishes are calling me...there's nothing more *exciting* than dishes with the food cemented to the sides...oh dear. Yay elections! It's time for a change I say, hopefully other people thought so too. Schoenen Tag wuensche ich euch noch :-)

Something worth watching

Also zuerst moechte ich sagen: Bean, du hast auch net was in den letzten Tagen geschrieben...du haettest was auch schreiben koennen ;-p Aber es geht...jetzt ist das Wochenende und ich mache eine kurze Pause--oder eher eine grosse (:-p). Bean, there's something you would probably find totally hilarious--I was introduced this week to Rick Mercer Report...totally hilarious (!)--okay I just repeated myself lol-- and you can even see episodes from previous weeks too. Last week had a nice video on the olympians, even filmed in Calgary...definitely *exciting* lol. So check it out if you need a laugh or even just a smile. And the *excitement* of my life, referats and papers and dance class--that's right, you heard me, dance class...coming out of nowhere right? :-p It's sooooooo much fun and I even learned how to dance the guy's part for a couple of dances too...there weren't enough guys there last night and so I danced with some girls as the "guy"...definitely challenging but still really happy. And then Fire Abend was really awesome too. Nick talked about Worship and it was a good reminder for everyone who was there...at the end you could totally notice a difference in the authenticity if that makes sense. What do I want to do this weekend? Homework because I have two referats next week, oh *joy*. But I will perservere. I'm going to a "hang out" thing at Campus tonight too...starts pretty later (9pm) but it should be a good time...I did do a fair amount of homework today--okay so not a spectacular amount but I think it's important to have a break sometimes too. Yeah, yeah, whatever floats my boat ;-p And the Flames beat the Canadiens last night--wonder how that divided my family? We like our hockey indeed--okay, except you Bean. On another random note, I think I'm going to have a nap. Hope you get some time to chillax tonight. Yay for fridays!

The *excitement*

Hallo ihr liebe! hoffe, heute geht's euch ganz gut...mir geht's okay--bin halt muede denn ich war gestern ein bissle spaet (fuer mich ;-p) ins Bett gegangen und jetzt bin ich frueher aufgestanden, damit ich in die Kirche gehen kann. Wurde gestern Abend zu einer Geburtstagsfeier eingeladen...hab' total viel gegessen aber hat's Spass gemacht und hab' viele nette Leute kennengelernt und viele Maedels von meinem Hauskreis gesehen. Mit einem, Johannna, haben wir vor, Banana Bread zusammen zu backen, denn sie war ein Jahr als Au per (s/p? nanny) in den USA...koennte echt lustig sein ;-0 Vielleicht werde ich sogar Lisi waehrend der SEmesterferien in Ulm besuchen...sie ist auch im Hauskreis. Muss aber mal schauen, wie alles laeuft. Okay, und jetzt schnell auf English (weiss nicht, wie viel ihr verstehen habt) I did get a fair amount of homework done yesterday (yay!) and I baked muffins to take to the party...they were very tasty I think. Today I'm going to church, hopefully it won't be too hardcore to understand lol and then at 14 Uhr I'm meeting Nina, from CYF but she's my referat partner too, to work on a referat that we have in two weeks...we're trying to be proactive because it might take a while lol. HOpefully I can work on other homework too. Went to church this morning and they were talking about Jesus being a light for the world and we even sang some funky song from Taize, which made me smile. Yay for smiling in Church...I must confess my mind wandered a bit during the sermon because I was being angsty about my papers that I have to write and on what topics I will choose (ahh!). Okay so not so good, but I realised what I was doing and in the prayer time I gave my "sorgen" to Jesus, so hopefully I won't take them back lol. The bathroom should be cleaned again and I would like my roommate to do it but I haven't asked her too...I know people aren't mind readers but it's frustrating to feel like you are the only one who makes an effort to keep things clean. Otherwise, guess what I get to do this afternoon when I come back? haha...not so fun, especially when I have other homework to address--but a clean bathroom is important too (to me at least). Enough of complaining. My parents are calling tonight and that should be *exciting*. I'm looking forward to it already. There, that's my end on a positive note. Schoenen Sonntag wuensche ich euch.

The search for *inspiration*

Well at the end of the day I am totally ehausted and left feeling like I really wasn't that productive at all...sometimes the work that you do feels more like going in circles than anything else. Alas, so geht das Leben manchmal. Wenigstens haben wir unsere Referatsarbeit zu erledigen und hoffentlich morgen wird's was klarer stehen, denn wir besuchen die Professorin in ihrer Sprechstunden. Ausserdem habe ich Hausaufgaben fuer Kinderliteratur, beide zum Thema Jette und meine Semesterarbeit...aber es ist immer viel und waechst immer weiter--und ich bin auch irgendwie dabei. I have a tendency to make a fuss and worry about things that I really shouldn't because I don't have all the information to make the decision and sometimes it's my apparent lack in decisiveness that can be bothersome. But I shall endure. One day at a time and giving my best for each day--I'm thankful that friends and family can be patient with me...and Jesus is always there, easy for me to forget that in all the blah that happens around me, and still He remains constant--thankfully. Positive today was talking with Robin and Bean on MSN...I'm so glad that we can communicate despite the distance. Also positive was receiving emails from Hayley, Christine and Marianne. I have a fair number of correspondents...eventually I will be able to address them too, not just the homework. Seeing as I am "here", I think I'll end up making time for them too. But now it's dinner time and then homework, terribly *exciting*...somewhere there is *inspiration* and I will find it, it just may take a couple minutes.

One down, more to go

Mensch, das Ende ist bestimmt net vorbei...habe noch 6 Wochen im Semester und noch viel Arbeit zu tun. Aber ich hab' geschafft, ein Referat allein zu halten und wahrscheinlich eine Note und Schein dafuer kriegen--mehr kann ich nicht erwarten, glaube ich. Ich muss aber noch meinen "vote" nach Kanada schicken und auch fuer andere Referate und Aufsatz vorbereiten. Ausserdem habe ich Fragen zum neuen Roman, den wir beim Herrn Zaenker lesen und ich moechte Alex's Studienarbeit fertig ueberpruefen, damit sie genug Zeit dafuer hat. Also ziemlich beschaeftigt wuerde ich meinen ;-p Okay, so I don't know how much of that you got but hey, a little *excitment* isn't too bad. Basically, I 've got lots ot do though I 'm a very grateful to have one thing out of the way. Today I would like to deal with a couple of things before my class at 4, including some exercise...would be wise. Found out about our midterms for Kinder literatur and I did pretty well, hopefully I can keep it up for the essay. On Thursday I have my next dance class and hopefully that will be *exciting* but until then I'll just have to wait. Need to start planning my break plans. I am going to visit Zicka though in February for a couple of days. I like the idea of being able to keep practising my German. And I would like to try out making custard sometime--Danielle brought me back custard dishes from Canada (!) and so I'm looking forward to having that for dessert, naturally with her :-) Ah dear, I hope that the semester has had a positive start for you Bean :-) Tomorrow I get to talk with Robin--that is super happy. But now on to homework...I don't need to work on my procrastination skills, they are already well-developed.

It's official...

Okay, so now it's my turn to have a bleh day where I don't feel like I've done much that was productive and I'm very indecisive--I need back-up *desperately* lol. It's pretty much official...I have no idea what I want for a pair of shoes and hence, I am overly picky because I don't even know what I like. Oh the cruel *irony*. Spent another 1.5 hours looking at and trying on various shoes and boots but with limited success evidently. Oh well, maybe next week there will be a moment of *inspiration* (and some help ;-p) and then things could go better. Haven't done any homework really yet or feel so inspired to do some. I realised today that I really am totally not in the fashion-loop and I don't even know what I'm going for lol. Plus I realised more importantly that I really haven't taken too many days off during my break *whoops* there goes the point of "break". Maybe tonight I'll just watch a DVD and be really unproductive but more on purpose than right now. I guess the good thing about going back to class is that things will start up again and I won't feel so isolated...I spend all days thinking in English, talking to myself in English,etc...not the best German practise--so I think back in the world may be better. Sorry Bean I haven't done anything terribly amusing today...maybe I'll be struck with an idea later this afternoon for it is still early. Until then it's just random babbling for all--have fun with it.

Heilige Drei Koenige--Happy Ephiphany!

Liebe LeserInnen...haha, Liebe Bean, Liebe Robin, die zwei, die alles hier lesen :-) Heute ist ein Feiertag und ich kann leider nicht einkaufen gehen, wie ich es vorhatte...muss zum Hauptbahnhof gehen und schau' ob da was geoeffnet ist. Ich glaube aber schon, weil es immer Sonntags geoeffnet ist. Und jetzt auf Englisch, weil ich mal schaetze, ihr habt nicht alles ganz verstanden :-) So I am given the option of doing homework or...drumroll please, you guessed it! more homework :-p It's terribly *exciting* but alas, I do have to address these things eventually. I'm making chicken soup today too and letting it boil away for quite a while so that it's super tasty. Alex has sent me part of her big essay to look over and I'm hoping that I can do something to help...it's sometimes hard to say how much exactly that we know about our own language. I'll pray for some help. Winter can be such a bummer sometimes because it's so gray and cool and less humid--I'm shedding (sp?) like a dog practically, it gets all over the place. I need to sweep my floor pretty much every day and in the bathroom, it gets disgusting sooooo fast. Oh well, the excitement of having long hair. A topic of more interest is that Zicka is going to call me today (!) HOpefully I can keep up with her German and do my own some justice, in giving it a good practise. We'll see though. Still haven't gotten pictures from Bean yet that she said she would scan for me--I am looking forward to seeing them, when they arrive and hopefully sooner than later ;-p I know it has only been four months but people are always changing and I am excited to see the developments at home (and sometimes sad at the same time that I can't be there too). However, you can't be in two places at one time and I'm learning a great deal here--I can't say that there's not one tiny speck of desire that would want to go to Canada, but I can say there's a lot more desiring to be here and see what there is in Europe, etc. Without Jesus I don't know what I'd do (and well family and friends, but they aren't always immediately present to you and available to listen ;-p). Ah dear, been avoiding homwork for a little while now...probably time to face it. Wuensche euch echt einen schoenen Tag--geniesse den Ferien!

I must be tired tonight because my eyes almost need toothpicks to keep them from shutting lol. I managed to get through my referat handout preparations and one of my German friends is being a real sweetheart and looking it over for me. We also will probably meet on monday afternoon before I have presentation so that I can practise--that's a very good thing because I think I'll need all the confidence I can muster. Cooking a chicken yesterday took an insanely long time--I should thaw it first next time and turn the heat up just slightly then maybe it will cook in less than 4.5-5 hours lol. But at least it all tasted good ;-p I even took a picture for memory's sake. The nice thing about chicken is that it will last a while and I can make chicken soup...though hopefully that isn't a 5 hour ordeal. Defrosted the freezer today--now there is tons of room in that thing...not as small as it first appeared and maybe things will freeze properly from now on. Man, I could go for a back massage right now, everythings all tensed up from sitting hunched-over in front of the computer *whoops*. I should work on my posture a little more. Ich ueberlege mir gerade, was ich in den Semesterferien (also ende Februar bis April) machen moechte und wollte die Kosten usw. nachschauen bevor es alle gebucht ist. Vielleicht ist es einfacher ins Reisebuero zu gehen und die koennten die schwerste Arbeit machen...aber dann wird's vielleicht teurer um zu reisen. Muss mal schauen. Hoffe mal Zicka und die Famile Brehm zu besuchen und nach Spanien und Taize (bestimmt :-p) zu reisen...hoffentlich reicht das Geld, aber ich glaube schon. Morgen werde ich ein bissle bummeln gehen, um Schuhe anzugucken...moeglicherweise die "dress shoes" sind...die Frage ist jetzt, Bean, was wuerdest du mir empfehlen? That is what would you recommend? Shoes with pointy things on the end ;-p or not? boots that go up to my knees or ones to my ankles? should they be good for skirts and pants or more important for pants because I can wear sandals with skirts often? Are people at home wearing those boot things out of suede with ties or buckles that go up to mid calf or to the knees? Here they wear them with Jeans or with these funky skirts that are swirly...I like the skirts but I don't know if it's my style ;-p Es ist etwas was ich morgen machen kann. Freue mich schon.

New developments

It's very *exciting*...I am talking with Robin on MSN and she will probably be coming to Germany to visit me in August. I think it will be a lot of fun to have her here and to see her again after so many months will be very happy. I have been thinking about doing a round trip in August around Germany and to Sweden for a couple of days but not about whether I would do it alone (I was prepared to) or not. And now it looks like I will have a companion and I am excited that I can show her around a little. And tonight I'm making a roast chicken with gravy, stuffing and cranberries...looking forward to eating it already lol. I haven't done much homework today but I guess some days are more productive than others--I did go and take out some pictures books from the library though that I can use in my referat. I seem to have lots of angst about this referat and last night it wsa keeping me up after talking with my family on the phone. Without technology I don't know what I would do...it keeps us closer together though we are kilometers apart...I can send photos and have email updates rather than waiting months for a letter to come--I don't know how my grandparents did it ;-p God has blessed me with a really awesome family and friends, He totally is looking out for me this year--not that He hasn't in the past, I think I'm just noticing it more perhaps. It's very cool. Hopefully tomorrow I can be more *focussed* on my homework but time will tell.

Special for you Bean

So it will be a rough translation because I' m sick and feeling blah ;-P but here goes.
Basically the ICE train didn't come because there was some issue with it but they sent a replacement train and the seats were more-spaced apart and wider than in a "normal" second class wagon, which led me to conclude that it was probably normally a first class wagon...
but I had no problems travelling in this train.
Then my stress at the Stuttgart Hauptbahnhof was finding the S-bahn, which is on an underground track for the part of the route the goes to the station...but I know some German and so I found out where the stairs were.
Thus, I arrived safely at my destination in Erdmannhausen.
We went to a church service in a nice old church and then came home to make raclette--this dish comes from Switzerland or France (they both claim it) and it was super tasty.
We ate it with meat, several veggies and cheese then put it over our potatoes...I ate way too much :-p To bring in the new year we had sekt, watched the fire works and lit our sparklers (much less dangerous than having fireworks if you ask me).
We also played a couple board games and stayed up until 3 am...and I wondered how people can do that often. I did it once and now I am sick :-( And that's pretty much the gist of the New Years *excitement*. Feel special.

Special for you Bean :-p

So it will be a rough translation because I' m sick and feeling blah ;-P but here goes. Basically the ICE train didn't come because there was some issue with it but they sent a replacement train and the seats were more-spaced apart and wider than in a "normal" second class wagon, which led me to conclude that it was probably normally a first class wagon...but I had no problems travelling in this train. Then my stress at the Stuttgart Hauptbahnhof was finding the S-bahn, which is on an underground track for the part of the route the goes to the station...but I know some German and so I found out where the stairs were. Thus, I arrived safely at my destination in Erdmannhausen. We went to a church service in a nice old church and then came home to make raclette--this dish comes from Switzerland or France (they both claim it) and it was super tasty. We ate it with meat, several veggies and cheese then put it over our potatoes...I ate way too much :-p To bring in the new year we had sekt, watched the fire works and lit our sparklers (much less dangerous than having fireworks if you ask me). We also played a couple board games and stayed up until 3 am...and I wondered how people can do that often. I did it once and now I am sick :-( And that's pretty much the gist of the New Years *excitement*. Feel special.

What's the secret?

Gestern war ich bei einer Freundin, um Silvester zu feiern und es hat echt Spass gemacht :-) Ich bin um 13 Uhr dorthin gegangen--nach Erdmannhausen, ein kleines Dort, von dem ich nie bis jetzt gehoert hatte aber war's schoen eben in der Dunkelheit ;-p Aber die Reise war nicht ohne interessante Momente sozusagen--zuerst ist der ICE Zug durchgefallen, dann hatten wir einen Zusatzzug bekommen, der eigentlich sehr bequem war, weil die normale erste Klasse war heute "zweite" Klasse und die Sitzplaetze waren gross. Nachdem war die Reise okay bis ich Stuttgart Hauptbahnhof erreichte und dann hatte ich ein bissle Stress, denn ich konnte die S-Bahn nicht finden aber wenn man ein bissle Deutsch reden kann, ist okay. Zwei andere Maedels sind auch zur Silke gekommen, die Katja und Angela, die beide auch sehr nett waren/sind. Wir gingen zusammen zum Gottesdienst mit Abendmahl in der Landeskirche, was eigentlich ganz schoen war obwohl es kalt drinnen war (ich habe meine Handschuhe wieder anziehen muessen ;-p) Dann sind wir zurueck gelaufen und haben Raclette vorbereitet und genossen...mmm, lecker (okay raclette sind mit eine besondere Kaese aber man kann was man will in dem brett legen, z.B. schinken, kidney bohnen, paprika, mais, zwiebeln, pilze, usw. und dann Kaese drueber und lass es im Geraet stehen bis die Kaese geschmolzen ist...dann mit Kartoffeln essen). Ich habe natuerlich total viel gegessen und wir hatten mouse zum Nachtisch. Wir haben einige Spielen bis fast Mitternacht gespielt, dann sind wir drausen gegangen und haben zusammen mit Sekt das neue Jahr "gebracht" (to bring in, meine ich). Dann haben wir die viele Feuerwerke angeschaut--echt cool aber auch gefaehrlich und einige sind nervig wegen dem Laerm, das die machen und haben Wunderkerzen angezuendet :-P Als wir wieder drinnen gingen, haben wir noch was gespielt bis wir total muede waren und dann um 3Uhr war ich endlich ins Bett und hab' bis 10:35 ausgeschlafen. Also die Frage des Tages ist, wie man das regelmaessig machen kann? Ich bin heute total erschoepft und habe vor, frueher ins Bett zu gehen und morgen richtig auszuschlafen damit ich was wiederbekommen kann sozusagen...ausserdem bin ich jetzt erkaeltet, was echt Schade ist, weil man die Ferien nicht so gut geniessen kann, wenn man krank ist aber so geht's.
Morgen muss ich echt an meine Hausaufgaben arbeiten...the *excitement* but such is life. so let me know if you want some translation Bean :-P Time to be *productive* in some way, shape or form. Happy New Years again!